Practical Advice · December 8, 2017 · 3 min read
How to Plan a Rehearsal Dinner at Rixey Manor
Three options for the night before, from an intimate family dinner to a full guest list party. Mix and match to make it yours.
First, the financial question. Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is paid for by one side of the family. Unlike the wedding, where the couple usually covers at least some of the costs, this tradition is fairly consistent. That said, both families can feel excluded if they are left out of planning conversations entirely. Involving everyone in the discussion — even if one family is writing the check — tends to go better.
As a Rixey couple, you have some options that other venues cannot offer. Here are three, from smallest to largest. Mix and match.
Option 1: Intimate Family Only
Who: Just immediate family — parents, grandparents, siblings, and their partners.
Where: A parent's home, a local restaurant, or the Rixey dining room.
Food: Home cooking, ordering off a menu, or takeout. (We get Chinese and pizza delivered to the manor and it works perfectly.)
Drinks: That special bottle of Scotch, a good bottle of champagne.
What it feels like: Board games, family photo albums, genuine conversations. If your two families have not spent much time together, this is the best possible setting for them to actually form a bond.
The trade-off: Your wedding party will need to find their own plans after the walkthrough. It does not build the pre-wedding anticipation the way a larger gathering does.
Option 2: Family and Wedding Party
Who: Immediate family plus the wedding party and their partners. Essentially everyone who will be present for the rehearsal walkthrough.
Where: A restaurant in Culpeper or Warrenton, the Rixey front porch, the rooftop, or the bar.
Food: Potluck, a set menu, or catering from a restaurant. Chipotle for 30 people works and nobody complains.
Drinks: Wine, champagne for toasts, a small keg.
What it feels like: Casual, still relatively inexpensive, more of a party. Small enough that people can still have real conversations. Often followed by heading into town to meet remaining out-of-town guests for a drink.
The trade-off: Out-of-town guests, aunts, and godparents sometimes wish they were included. Once you add partners and children, it can get larger than expected.
Option 3: Full Guest List
Who: Everyone invited to the wedding.
Where: Cocktail bar, the manor, the ballroom if needed.
Food: A professional caterer or a food truck.
Drinks: Whatever you are serving at the wedding. This is actually useful — it gives you a real sense of what gets consumed fastest and whether you need to restock anything before Saturday.
What it feels like: A proper party with all your people, the night before the main event. Out-of-town guests have something meaningful to do with the evening. Everyone feels included.
The trade-off: More expensive. Can result in slower starts on the wedding morning if people overdo it. Some couples feel it diminishes the "everyone together for the first time" feeling of the wedding itself.
If you need restaurant recommendations, food truck contacts, or help thinking through the logistics, just reach out. It is one of the things we are happy to help plan.