Wedding Extras That Aren't Worth the Money

Weddings require a lot of things — from the obvious (a wedding dress) to the unavoidable (knives and forks). But among the essentials, the industry thrives on the extras.

As a rule of thumb: ask yourself if you would miss it when you were a guest at someone else's wedding. Then decide if it is worth it. These are not things you should never include. They are things you might skip if you are on a tight budget.

Favors. We have seen everything from cookie bars to succulents. When choosing a favor, consider this: you already bought your guests dinner, they gave you a gift, and you will send them a thank-you card. So maybe this extra gift-giving moment is unnecessary. Most people will not take a favor unless it is edible and they can eat it on the way home. We find a lot of well-meaning favors abandoned in the parking lot once guests realize they cannot fly with a plant.

Programs. While we appreciate that you want to keep your guests informed, programs usually only cover the ceremony. What guests actually want to know is when they can eat, drink, and dance. If you do get them printed, they will be used as fans if it is hot, then ditched as soon as you kiss. They are useful if your ceremony is over 30 minutes or includes multiple readings. A big central sign with ceremony highlights and event times tends to be more effective.

Place-cards at the table. We believe in assigning tables, not seats. Place-cards are helpful for caterers tracking meal choices, but this can usually be solved just by knowing how many of each option are at each table. We bow to the caterer's preference on this, however.

Candle lighting ceremonies. This seems wonderful in theory. In practice, it is very hard to keep a unity candle lit during an outdoor ceremony. When your symbol of love refuses to light, it is not a wonderful symbol of anything. Consider pouring wine or sand instead.

Signs for every little thing. Signs are popular, and who does not love a rhyming poem about the flip-flop basket. But your guests can probably tell the difference between a guestbook and a seating chart. Signs take a lot of time to plan and design, and after the wedding you are left with a collection of random objects that make no sense in your house.

Personalized items. Fun, sometimes very cute, but easy to overdo. If your guests' enjoyment depends on your name on a napkin, something has gone wrong elsewhere.

Large, expensive invitations. They cost a lot to buy and even more to mail. Look into fold-and-seal options — they are easy and significantly cheaper. You can also save on RSVP cards entirely by having guests respond through your wedding website. The software handles meal tracking so you do not have to.

One thing that is totally popular — and the one favor we always love to see — is a cookie bar.